Wedding Rituals
Anish is from Tamil Nadu and Kirthi, from Andhra Pradesh. While these two neighbouring states have a lot in common, they also have some unique cultural elements that we’re going to celebrate in this fusion wedding.
20 February
3:45 PM
Jaanavaasam (Welcoming the Groom) Common
This is the groom’s grand entrance to the wedding venue. He is accompanied by family and friends as the bride’s family waits to welcome them to the wedding
4:00 to 6:00 PM
Nischitartham / Eduru Sannaham (Engagement) Common
This takes place at a temple, and is when the two families meet. Formal introductions take place, and the bride’s family brings turmeric, betel leaves, nuts and clothes for the groom. After being garlanded by the bride’s brother, the entire group partakes in some sweet candy and sets off for the ‘mandap’ or the event hall, where the bride awaits to get a glimpse of her future husband. Members of both families sit opposite each other on a platform and a ‘lagna patrika’ (marriage contract) is written and read aloud by the priest, followed by an exchange of gifts and sundries.
7:30 to 10:00 PM
Reception Dinner
A formal soirée to receive the guests. Everyone gets a chance to introduce themselves and interact with the bride and groom. Sans a specific agenda, this is meant to be a relaxed evening filled with conversation, food and light music.
21 February
9:30 to 11 AM
Pre-Muhurtham Rituals
Snaathakam and Kaasi Yaatra (Journey to Kaasi)Common
This is considered the most amusing part of the ceremony. Immediately after his ‘student life’, the young bachelor has two alternatives before him - becoming a ‘Grihasta’ (householder) or ‘Sanyaas’ (ascetic). Given his balanced and pious upbringing, he is naturally drawn towards asceticism. Therefore he decides to renounce worldly pleasures and make his way to Kasi (the sacred pilgrimage site, Varanasi). Dressed in the traditional ‘panchakatcham’, holding an umbrella, a fan, a walking stick, and a towel containing ‘dal’ (lentils) and rice tied to his shoulder, he steps out of the ‘mandapam’. The bride’s father pleads with him not to go to ‘Kashi’ and marry his daughter instead! He promises to give his daughter as a companion to face the challenges of life. After much ado the groom accepts and returns to the ‘mandapam’ to get married! The umbrella is to remain with the groom, to remind him in the future of this advice. As promised, his wife stands by him in his life.
Maalai Maatram (Garland Exchange) Tamil
In this ceremony, the bride and groom are to garland each other, thereby accepting the other into their lives. They are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles. This is an expression of continuing sibling support to their mothers. And in that position the two garland each other thrice for a complete union. In the shastras, the exchange of garlands symbolizes their unification, as one soul in two bodies. It is inward acceptance by each of the very fragrance in the other.
Oonjal (Swing) Tamil
The couple is seated on a swing and rocked back and forth, as women sing songs to praise them. The bride and groom are given a sweet concoction of milk, sugar and bananas to eat. Water and lighted lamps are circulated around the swing in order to guard against demons and ghosts. Colored globules of cooked rice are waved in a circular motion and thrown away to propitiate the evil spirits. The chains of the swing signify the eternal karmic link with the Almighty. The to and fro motion represents the undulating sea-waves of life. Yet in mind and body they shall move in harmony – steady and stable.
11:30 AM to 12:35 PM
Muhurtham Rituals
Jeelakarra Bellam Telugu
The auspicious moment for marriage is pre-chosen and known as the ‘Subhamuhurtham’. At this appointed time, amidst mantras from Vedas being recited by the priest, the bride and groom apply jeelakarra bellam (a paste made from cumin seeds and raw brown sugar) on each other’s heads at exactly the same moment. The bitter taste of cumin and the sweetness of sugar cannot be separated, symbolizing that the bride and groom are supposed to become inseparable through life’s bitter and sweet times. When the groom accepts the bride completely, the partition is removed at a predetermined auspicious time, and they sit before a sacrificial fire.
Maangalya DhaaranamCommon
During Maangalya Dhaaranam, the tying of the Mangal Sutra or Thali takes place exactly at the predetermined auspicious hour. The bride is seated over a sheaf of grain-laden hay looking eastward while the bridegroom faces westward. The groom puts the gold Mangal Sutra around the neck of the bride. As he does so the Nadaswaram instrument is played loudly and fast so as to muffle any inauspicious sounds at the critical hour. This is called Getti Melam. Sumangali ladies sing auspicious songs. Three knots are tied on the Thali - the first one by the bridegroom, and the other two knots are tied by the groom’s sister to make the bride a part of their family.
12:35pm onwards
Post-Muhurtham Rituals
Saptha Padhi Common
Holding the bride’s hand the groom walks seven steps around the holy fire with her. This is the most important part of the marriage ceremony. And only when they walk these seven steps together (i.e. perform the saptha padhi) is the marriage complete. With each step they take a vow, and mantras are chanted for togetherness or unity.
Pradhaana Homam Common
A crucial part of the wedding is the homage paid by the couple to Agni, the God of Fire. The couple goes around the fire, and feeds it with ghee and twigs of nine types of holy trees as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise possess medicinal, curative and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. Agni, the mightiest power in the cosmos, the sacred purifier, the all-round benefactor is deemed as a witness to the sacred marriage. Hence the term ‘Agni Saakshi’ or witness by fire.
Talambralu Telugu
The bride and groom shower one another with talambralu (rice mixed with saffron and turmeric). This denotes the couple’s desire for happiness, enjoyment and contentment. Initially they take turns to shower the rice; however as it progresses, it gets more entertaining when they begin to compete with each other.